


sleeping with ghosts

by Tedronai



Category: The Malazan Book of the Fallen - Steven Erikson
Genre: Angst, Dreams, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Post-Canon, Sibling Incest, Sort Of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-20
Updated: 2019-07-20
Packaged: 2020-07-09 14:22:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19889281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tedronai/pseuds/Tedronai
Summary: Since being released from his prison, he barely dreams anymore, but when he does, it’s about Anomander.





	sleeping with ghosts

**Author's Note:**

> I have no excuse. None.

In the Azath barrow, trapped for countless centuries, dreams were his only escape. His soul would wander, sometimes one more silent witness to events great and terrible, sometimes a wraith in the paths of those sensitive enough to see and hear him. He never had a choice of what he was about to see, where his soul would find itself, but those all too brief glimpses of almost-freedom were precious nonetheless.

Since being released from his prison, he barely dreams anymore, but when he does, it’s about Anomander.

Most of the time, he watches his brother die. Over and over again, the First Son of Darkness falls, his life taken in the end not by his fearsome opponent but the dread sword he’s carried for so long it’s become an integral part of his myth. He falls and Silchas is unable to do anything; he’s not there, after all, he’s just a spectator like he was in his wanderings while trapped under the Azath. Anomander falls, and the very foundations of the earth seem to shake as the hilt of Dragnipur slides free from his grasp and the sword hits the ground.

Other times, the dreams bend reality even more and Silchas is able to reach through the fabric of time and save his brother’s life. Somehow he arrives in the nick of time to slay his brother’s adversary, and when Anomander looks at him there’s no surprise in his expression, like he always knew Silchas would be there. Usually, the dream ends there, with the bittersweet joy of tragedy averted turning to ashes as reality sets in and Silchas wakes to find the world unchanged, his brother still dead.

But sometimes… Sometimes the dream doesn’t end there. In those dreams, Anomander smiles his enigmatic smile, the one that used to be so infuriating when they were both alive, and holds out his hand. Silchas takes it, letting Anomander pull him close, into his arms. Silchas tries to speak but the emotion is too intense for words. He leans into Anomander, feeling the sheer power of Anomander’s presence wrap around him, Kurald Galain and Starvald Demelain; the comforting Darkness mixed with the savageness of the Draconean blood coursing through his veins…

...To which Silchas’ own Eleint blood answers in kind. Senses suddenly heightened, he inhales sharply, breath hissing through his teeth, as his body responds to the proximity of Anomander’s in a very obvious way. He meets Anomander’s eyes, seeing understanding dawn in them; understanding, acceptance… and invitation. 

Anomander’s lips part and he breathes Silchas’ name; a command or benediction, either way it drives the last shreds of doubt from Silchas’ mind and he reaches up to grasp a fistful of silver hair at the back of Anomander’s head and kisses him. Anomander returns the kiss, hard and demanding and in control, and it’s like being swept away in a Storm by a more powerful Eleint; Silchas couldn’t fight the tidal wave of desire and raw need if he wanted to. And he doesn’t want to. He wants everything Anomander can give him; wants to give Anomander everything… 

And Anomander obliges.

From these dreams, Silchas awakes covered in sweat and painfully hard and near mad with grief and frustration and terrible yearning. Stroking himself to completion grants him physical release, but it only leaves him more vulnerable to the emotional chaos and the ghosts lurking at the edges of a darkness that no longer feels like home.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi it's 2 a.m. I hope this is readable.


End file.
